Up in the Air: The Ryan Air Experience

In many of my entries, I quickly gloss over my travel details, yet those are probably some of the most important parts of my trip.  Thus, I thought it’d be fun to dedicate an entry to Europe’s cheapest and most notorious airline: Ryan Air. 

Look at those beauties.

Ryan Air prides itself on having absolutely the lowest fees, and it really does.  However, there are a ton of catches, and if you let anything slip through the cracks, you pay BIG.  (For example, you need to print your boarding passes at home—if you don’t, it’ll be about £40.)  With passes in hand, you must trek to London Stansted; out of London's five airports, Ryan Air only flies out of this one.  A drive to Stansted takes anywhere between 60-90 minutes, so it’s necessary to pay for a bus ticket.  I’ve learned my lesson the hard way (if you forget, read my Dublin entry!), so I always leave London around 4 hours before my flight is supposed to take off.  That way, I can arrive at Stansted with plenty of time to wait in Ryan Air’s large queue to get checked in.  (You print your boarding passes online, but you still need to get your passport and pass confirmed at the airport).  

Security at Stansted normally doesn’t take too long, so after clearing the line you kind of just hang out in the main terminal, eyes glued to the Departures TV Screen as you wait for your gate to be announced.  Since Ryan Air doesn’t connect its planes directly to the gate , it doesn't assign gate numbers until about 20 minutes before your flight is supposed to take off LOL.  So crowds of passengers huddle around the screen, and as soon as the number flashes, it is a mad dash to the gate, survival of the fittest style.  There are no assigned seats on the plane (unless you want to pay £10 more, so no way, jose!), so the queue is of massive importance.  I cannot stress this enough, people.  It doesn’t matter that for 5 minutes your calves are on fire, or you are sweating through your coat, you NEED to get to the queue before that bloke across the hall from you. 

Priority boarders with assigned seats on the left; study abroad students on the right.

Once you reach the queue, you have just enough time to shove all your things into one bag before the Ryan Air attendant checks off your ticket.  Ryan Air has a strict one bag carry-on policy, and that includes purses, camera bags, laptop bags, etc.  If you are bold enough to try to bring two bags on board you will be slammed with a £50 fine, and I’ve seen it happen before, folks!  It ain’t pretty.  This has been kind of inconvenient, mainly because I cannot pack as much as I like, considering I need space to shove my camera bag in my backpack. However, I’ve always made it work. 

If it's bigger than this, you're paying.

At the time of departure printed on your ticket, you are normally beginning to board the plane.  Only the first few rows are blocked off for the knobs foolish enough to pay for an assigned seat, so you can easily grab a spot in the fourth or fifth row.  The seats are hard leather and do not recline, but hey, you get what you pay for!  The plane is painted in Ryan Air’s colors: a navy blue and a gaudy yellow.  This combo makes it kind of difficult to sleep on the plane, but thankfully European flights are rather quick anyways.  Throughout the duration of the flight, Ryan Air attendants will try to sell you everything on God’s green earth, from scratchcards to smokeless cigarettes to bus tickets to food and drink.  I’ve only caved and bought one thing from them EVER, and that was chocolate.  Sue me.

View from the fifth row!   

Don't those hot coffees and teas look good? :)

Ryan Air likes to pride itself on being Europe’s most on-time airline, and it does this by descending way too quickly (I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure its descent procedure has got to violate something).  You normally take off late, make up a little time in the air and make up the remainder of it on an extremely sharp, nearly 45 degree descent back to earth.  This jolts your system and pumps you with adrenaline before taking on a new country haha.  Shortly after you land, Ryan Air will celebrate its punctuality by playing a very loud horn blast throughout the plane.  So, if by some crazy miracle you did sleep through the entire ride, you are definitely up and ready to go now.

So that’s Ryan Air haha.  Perhaps after my description you can understand why its study abroad students who mainly mainly keep this airline in business.  Bottom line, you just cannot beat some of its fares.  And if you’re not an idiot, you can escape its extra fees and come out on top, successfully having stuck it to the man.  In the end, I hope never to fly this airline EVER again, but it will always hold a dear spot in my heart.  Ryan Air, I owe it to you for getting me to Dublin, Rome and Barcelona.  It was a bumpy ride, but in the end we made it, so thanks.

I would have paid £30 for this view alone, so the flight is just icing on the cake. 

Cheers,
C